So who is this old friend? Well in fertility world my 36 year old reproductive system. So I thought I would take this post to catch you up on the three years prior to being told that a Gestational Carrier would be our best bet to have another baby. After trying for a year on our own, we decided to go to see a fertility doctor. He ran lots of tests on both Johnny and myself. Every blood test you could think of and I also had scans and ultrasounds. Some tests were totally fine...others were painful. After the tests were complete I found out the following:
1. I had a hypo thyroid
2. I was insulin resistant (what the heck is that)
all of which could be controlled with medicine and shouldn't be a problem. We were told that we should do clomid and insemination. Okay.. Sounds easy enough. No shots. Great!! I thought we would be up and running (or throwing up) in no time.
So after round three of clomid, I got the call I was waiting for!! You're VERY pregnant. Asking the nurse, what does very pregnant mean? Well my numbers were crazy high. In the thousands. I believe around 30 you are pregnant. So I quickly was trying to do the math. I had visions of multiple bouncy chairs in my living room. I thought okay..here we go. They wanted me to come in to do more blood work in 3 days. So when my numbers didn't rise the way they wanted, I got another call. This time from a nurse, who I thought at the time was mean. She said, "We need you to come in for an ultrasound. I just want to worn you that you may have an issue here". I was thinking what? An issue, my numbers were so high obviously I was pregnant it was just a question of how many.
I went for the ultrasound...there was NOTHING! If that nurse hadn't had planted that seed of something not being right, I would have really been knocked off my rocker. So now I am pregnant, but we can't see anything. What does that mean? Ectopic pregnancy? I was then asked many questions..Did I have bleeding, was I experiencing cramps? NO to both. So I had a choice get a DNC and if it was in my tube it would be removed or get a shot that will stop the growth of any rapid growing cells. I went home crying trying to figure out what to do cause obviously I didn't want my tube to burst. I chose the shot and went back later that day. I still had many many questions.
After meeting with my doctor, I was told that I actually got pregnant during my second cycle. The medicines I was taking were just enough to keep the pregnancy going. I was told how RARE this is (a statement I would be hearing often through this journey). I was the 3rd person in 30 years that this has happened to at this facility..should I start playing the lottery?
So we ended up doing 7 rounds of insemination. Finally I was pregnant. It was really hard for me to admit it to myself. I only told my closest friends and some family. It was August 17th. My son's 5th birthday. I had my 12 week ultrasound scheduled. I bought the "You are going to be a big brother" books to give to my son that night after the ultrasound. We went for the ultrasound. As soon as the picture came up, I knew something was wrong. There was no heartbeat. We were devastated. They wanted to do the DNC that day. I couldn't. I was my son's birthday. We were having family over. I wasn't going to not be there for his birthday. I was able to push it aside and be present for my son's birthday. Which lead to another internal struggle. The day I had my DNC my sister in law was giving birth to my adorable niece by the same doctor in the same hospital. This taught me a lot about myself and deserves its own post. More to come....
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